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Whoever dreamed up the idea to temporarily turn 7-11 stores into Kwik-E-Marts (in honor of the Simpsons movie) is a certified GENIUS .
Not one to seek out 7-11's usually, I made a visit to the 7-11 turned Kwik-E-Mart on 42nd Street near Times Square. Having been a Simpsons fan since before the animated family was spun off from the Tracey Ullman Show (remember?), I just had to see it.
On a Sunday afternoon, t he place was packed . Tourists were outside taking pictures of the place...inside they were snapping more photos with the big stand-ups of Homer, Apu, and Moe. Besides the usual week-old hot dogs and sugary pastries in cellophane, most of the stock was movie junk like lunch boxes, talking beer openers, a giant Pez dispenser topped with Marge's blue-coiffed head.
I was on a mission. I knew exactly what I wanted. T he advance press on the store said the y were selling Bart's favorite cereal, Krusty-O's™ (just one product from the vast Krusty The Clown merchandising empire). But alas, by the time I got there they were sold out. ( I heard three other people ask for Krusty-O's™ while I was there, so others shared my disappointment.) Still wanting a souvenir of my visit, I settled for two cans of Buzz! cola, checked out, walked past the clever "Thanks for loitering" sign and left the claustrophobic store, only to discover....
...they had left their cardboard recycling outside on the curb. And one of the boxes stuffed with other flattened cardboard was...the shipping box for a case of Krusty-O's™! I t wasn't easy to separate from the trash, so I grabbed the whole twine-bound package and hauled it off to the subway. It was bulky, and it st a nk...there was an old pizza carton in there and various other vile and sticky things, and for all I knew something alive was nesting in there. But I had to have my very unique souvenir. Of course the train that came was jam-packed. And I was hauling a big, smelly box full of cardboard on board. The riders all gave me dirty looks until someone noticed..."Hey look, Krusty-O's™!" Their scowls turned to smiles, and one guy offered me ten bucks for my trash. (Of course I turned him down.)
Close to home, my string-tied refuse started to unravel. The strand holding it all together waited until I was at my door to snap completely. But I had made it safely home with my cardboard shipping box clearly labeled "Krusty-O's™ - Sweetened Multi-Grain Cereal With Natural Fruit Flavors." It's the coolest empty cardboard box in my neighborhood...a conversation piece, at least until the Simpsons movie leaves theatres and comes out on DVD.
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